What Mai Really Wants
by Alabaster86
Summary: Mai's indifference to her mother is not as strong as she thinks.


_**What Mai Really Wants**_

Fire Lord Zuko, dressed in loose pants and a sleeveless tunic, entered the sitting room and handed a letter to his wife of only three weeks. She reclined on the sofa, loose ebony hair cascading down across the scarlet cushions, a cup of mint tea in her hand. Zuko eyes lingered on Mai, absorbing her beauty, a beauty that often and still overwhelmed him.

"It's from your mother."

Mai tossed the missive onto the nearby table without even considering it. Her mother's words did not interest her. Giving Zuko a warning look through hooded eyes, she dared him to convince her otherwise.

"Shall I just burn it then?"

"You can do whatever you want with it. I don't care." She shrugged as if to emphasize her lack of curiosity.

"So you won't mind if I read the letter?"

Zuko was testing her now, stretching the limits of her indifference with regards to Akira, his mother-in-law. He understood her feelings and respected them. But some part of Zuko also wanted a great big happy family with everyone getting along. That eventuality was a dream, no doubt, but he was entitled to a few.

"Whatever." Deliberately, Mai stuck her nose in a book of her favorite poems and tried to ignore Zuko's actions. But the tearing of the seal and the opening of the scroll wormed their way into her ears and then into her mind.

"Hmm," Zuko said. "Well, that's interesting. But you don't care, so I'll burn it now." With one almost invisible motion, he created a flame and turned the letter to ash. Little bits of dust floated in the air before dropping to the carpet.

Mai continued to stare at poem number seven on page eleven. She saw the characters and the words that they formed. But their meaning was lost on her. Too much of her mind was on that damned letter. She pretended complete indifference to all things Akira. But the truth was, a truth that Mai loathed and resented, the Fire Lady longed for a good relationship with the woman. Mai felt bitterness and anger toward Akira, yes, but a girl and a woman _both _crave the approval of mother.

"I hate you," she snarled, raspy voice making Zuko shiver.

He didn't take the words personally.

"I hate _her_."

Both Akira and Ozai had pushed their children to be what they were not. Zuko related to her anger, felt the same towards his father, a burning rage that consumed and eroded. It was unhealthy. But holding onto to it was far easier than letting go.

Ozai was beyond any kind of redemption. With Akira there might be hope. She was reaching out now, whether to maintain some kind of social standing or to better understand her daughter, neither Mai nor Zuko knew for sure.

Zuko sat beside Mai, gently moving her legs aside. "Do you want me to tell you what she wrote?" He stroked her thigh, the motion almost hypnotic. Delicate maroon silk shifted beneath his touch. It was pretty but a barrier between he and Mai and he wanted it gone.

Mai chewed her lip and tried to fight the arousal that claimed her body. "I _said_ I don't care." Her voice sounded nasty even to her ears and Mai regretted that. But she did not retract them.

Zuko said nothing. He continued the gentle motion of his fingers.

"I really don't care, you know. I'm not just being stubborn." Her tone was already less venomous. Mai put her book down on the table and sought out her husband's eyes.

Still the Fire Lord kept silent.

"Agni, would you just say something?"

"You may not like what I have to say."

"Say it anyway."

She sat up straight, awaited his pronouncement and grieved for the loss of contact.

"All right." Zuko closed his eyes. He gathered his stray thoughts, picking them from here and there, like fruit from the different branches of a tree, "I think that you should give your mother a chance." Mai's entire body grew rigid, but before she could protest, Zuko leaned in and pressed a finger to her lips. "Wait; I know it won't be perfect and it will take a lot of work. But she's not evil, Mai. She just doesn't get you and tried to put you in a box."

"Yeah, well, she didn't succeed and she won't and if she ever tries it with me again or with any children we might have, I'll cut her off faster than you…"

Zuko staunched the tumble of words with a kiss, a bandage on a wound. "So you'll try?" he asked.

"I'll try." Mai didn't sound happy about the idea. "Kiss me again. It will take my mind off my mother."

Zuko smirked and proceeded to kiss his wife senseless. "Family will be good for our kids," he reminded her once he had caught his breath.

"_Good_ family will be good for our kids," Mai amended. "Grandmother Akira; kiss me again."

He covered her face with small pecks this time, sweet, gentle things that expressed the magnitude of his love. "Look, Mai, we'll do our best to make things work. If your mother hurts you again, we'll pull back."

"It wasn't all her." Mai's words took Zuko by surprise. "I wasn't always the most agreeable daughter; I was surly and rude sometimes and deliberately tried to provoke her. My lack of interest in everything drove her crazy. I knew that and I took a perverse delight in making her squirm. I need to put more effort into things as well."

It was never easy to acknowledge and admit one's own short-comings; put in words what you might know somewhere deep down. He was proud of Mai. She'd grown a lot over the past few years. They both had. Their love and their partnership fostered that growth. Together, they felt, just about anything might be accomplished.

"You'll do better and I'll help you."

Mai nodded and snuggled tight against her lover's chest. He encircled her with his arms and enjoyed the feel and the smell of her.

"I'm glad I married you." Her voice was the smallest of whispers and muffled by his tunic, but Zuko heard.

Tears stung his eyes and he gave them permission to fall. In front of Mai he wasn't embarrassed or ashamed. "I'm glad too."

"Hey," she exclaimed as she wiped the tears from his cheeks. "You okay?"

"We're going to have a family," he declared. "You and me and children; I can't wait and I'm terrified."

"Children; well, you'd better start kissing me again."

Not wanting to disappoint, he did.

~~~~0000~~~~

Some time later, both spent, Mai recalled the letter. "You never did tell me what my mother wrote."

"She said that she wants to do better."

Mai nodded. Perhaps there was hope. Perhaps the relationship with her mother would shatter completely, tiny, sharp bits that could never be made whole again. With Zuko at her side, she would survive _either_ possibility.

~~~~0000~~~~

**A/N: Not much to say really….the word 'indifference' was the inspiration here. And mothers are on my mind….**


End file.
